Paths of Righteousness

I hate getting lost. 

Being lost. 

Having your GPS lead you only to realize it doesn’t even know how to get you where you want to go. You are lost in spite of thinking you knew where you were headed. 

I hate that even more. 

How did I end up here? This wasn’t what I was planning. I don’t have time for this. I’ve got places to be. Can’t there at least be a Starbucks on the next corner? If I’m going to be lost, at least I can find comfort in a frothy latte. 

I’m amazed how many times I’ve been here on this dead end road that was never on my map and found myself thinking whoa this is not where I was headed. How on earth did I get here? How did I wind up so angry? When did this habit become controlling? Why am I struggling with this all of the sudden? When did I become so cynical? So pessimistic? 

The answer that bubbles up in me is Life. 

Life happened. 

And life, I’m learning, is chalk full of places we never dreamed we be, thanks to the disappointing turn a relationship takes, the misunderstandings, the diagnosis, the market crash, the depression. 

The disappointments. 

Managing disappointments in life is where I get so tripped up because those darn expectations of mine have got me headed confidently in one direction only to discover I’m traveling down the wrong road. 

One that is dark and scary and not at all what I had planned on.

And no Starbucks in sight. 

This is where confusion and frustration set in. And I’m learning it is the birthplace of a harden heart. But I don’t want a hard heart. I don’t want to be cynical. 

I drag myself into God’s presence because I know no matter what state my heart is in, He is listening and that He is faithful to answer.  Honestly, I don’t even know what my prayer is but I’m thinking its pretty much a run on sentence full of emotional, messy pleas for help, ending up with the clear statement of I don’t want to be in this situation. I can’t see a way through it. I don’t know where you are going with this. 

I want to be on a different path. 

The one I had planned. 

In due time, I hear His still, small voice gently whisper these words of life to me:

He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Psalm 23:3. 

There is a path of righteousness I have for you here. There is a way to navigate through this messy situation that will be for My purposes in and through you. Let me lead you. 

And then He graciously opens my eyes that perhaps my expectations were slightly misguided and put upon things that never were going to be able to deliver. It slowly dawns on me that the misunderstandings can be an opportunity to develop a space for grace in my heart to learn to be more gracious with others. He shows me that disappointments are really HIS appointments to accomplish His work in me. He gives me the understanding I need to keep on going, instead of the temporary relief from struggle I'm desiring.

I love how it says “the paths." There is a general path of following God that every believer is called to, and then there are the specific paths in the life of the individual where faith gets personal and my very big God personally cares about the very small me. He wants to get all up in my business. Every little circumstance. Every relationship. Every ache in my heart. Every good, bad and ugly season of life. Every path I go down. 

There is a right way to navigate it. God wants to show us the way to live victoriously for Him. He wants to lead us through the really hard things and come out whole and holy on the other side. He wants to speak. 

But the truth of the matter is I have to let Him. He is not going to drag me kicking and screaming down the path of righteousness. I have to yield. I have to say "Yes Lord, lead me! Have your way! I’m listening." 

I’m discovering it’s never too late to get in step behind Him and follow in a given situation. It’s never too late to scream, “I’m lost here! I need some directions please! Show me the way!” 

It’s a humbling discovery to make, but it’s never too late to get on the righteous path and start following. I’m learning to pray for God to show me His path of righteousness for the complicated places in my life, those places I’m at a total loss on how to precede. 

Since expectations can be so tricky for me, I’m asking God to enable me to live in a place where my expectation is that He will lead me. 

“My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation.” Psalm 62:5 

When you think about it, we are always on a path headed somewhere. God’s path promises life, light, love and goodness even though it winds through the high mountains and takes us through painful valleys. 

The truth is I will travel the mountain and the valley regardless. I want to go being led by a faithful Shepherd who knows the way and can lead me on the right paths. 

I choose the path full of light and love and abundant life please! And here’s to hoping there is a Starbucks somewhere along the path!