Real or Not Real?

*Spoiler alert: The following contains discussion about the latest Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2! Read at your own discretion. But please read it. I promise not to give the ending away!

I recently have considered taking up archery. A bow and arrow might be on my Christmas list. Black pants. Leather jacket. Definitely a mockingjay pin.

 A Hunger Games flick has made its way into our thanksgiving week ritual like a long lost friend who only comes to our table for this sacred feast once a year. For the past four years. For a third of my little’s life, she has had a new Hunger games movie to enjoy at Thanksgiving. So, this year was extra awesome as it was the finale. 

As always, we begin to debrief in the car ride home after the show. What we loved, where it strayed from the book, the parts that drew tears, and the parts we swore we saw coming. The moments that shocked us. Of course, Katniss is just awesome.  So bold and brave. Complex and passionate. I want to be her. I want to be the girl on fire.

I’m reflecting on the parts of the movie that I really resonate with, really wishing I could be stirred up by the warrior. The Battle. It is, however, a very humble and pitiful part that my heart just clings to, replaying over and over again: Peeta.

Peeta, Katniss’s partner and love, has been captured and tortured by the Capitol. Only his torture involved a hijacking of the mind that introduced false realities and preceptions into his psyche, mainly pertaining to his memories of Katniss. He has been conditioned to fear and hate her. Once they realize what has happened to him, they work to help him sort out his memories and he begins to grasp his enemy has worked against him in this cunning and ruthless way. By warping his mind, the Capitol has created the ultimate weapon to use against Katniss: Love buried beneath pain, confusion, and perceptions that are based on lies.

Once rescued, Peeta and Katniss develop a way for him to sort out his mind, to help him determine if his perception is right or if he is, once again, acting on the lies that have been created for him. Peeta says a statement and then asks Katniss, “Real or not real?”

I have to be honest here and say I SO wish I was identifying with Katniss’s bravery, her sure shot, heck, her awesome mockingjay pin—something!!! But truth be told, I find myself feeling a lot more familiar with that crazed, confused look in Peeta’s eyes as he looks longing at Katniss trying to rebuild the trust between them as he asks her “real or not real” and somehow hoping to find his way back to truth.

How often have I allowed myself to have a warped view of reality because my mind is operating on a sick strain of twisted reasoning and false perceptions? The conditioning happens in my mind when I allow hurts, fears and disappointments to go unmended, festering into something that looks very similar to a hijacked mind. I make agreements with these false perceptions (I believe this) and then I make actions upon those beliefs (I do this) and then? Well. Then I begin to look like someone I’m not. Someone I don’t want to be. (I am this) The problem here is that it is all based on a lie.

I’m alone.

I don’t belong and never will.

No one really cares about me.

I’m going to mess my kids up.

I will never change. 

Peeta’s approach is a simple one. Humble yourself. Ask someone who knows the truth if its real or not real. Believe it and move forward.  Trust has to start somewhere. The good news here is that I know Someone who is Truth.

Truth is a person. Not a perception.

Jesus refers to the Helper, who comes to live within us when we yield our lives to Him, the Holy Spirit as “the Spirit of Truth” and He “will guide us into all truth.” (John 15:26, John 16:13, NKJV)

When I bring the enemy’s lies out from the dark crevices of my soul into the light of God’s Word, they are exposed for what they are: weapons bent on my destruction. Tricks to keep me captive. Ineffective. Afraid.  When I allow the Spirit of Truth to guide me into all truth, I can, with God’s help, tear down the false foundations, allowing new ones to be built, true foundations that will yield abundant life.  Truths that make me brave. Able. Alive.

I’m alone. Not real. I’m with you always.

I don’t belong and never will. Not real. I have accepted you.

No one really cares about me. Not real. I care about you.

I’m going to mess my kids up. Not real. I will be the same God to them that I’ve been to you. I’ve got them.

I will never change. Not real. I’m changing you now as we speak.

If we have trusted in Christ, we no longer belong to the darkness. It cannot force me to stay. It can, however, convince me that the darkness is where I belong, harassing me to stay put. But the Spirit of Truth whispers a different message: “He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the Kingdom of the Son of His love,” Colossians 1:13 NKJV

Can I just admit here that this is tough work? I value truth. It makes me tick. But sorting out my truth can be messy. Needy. Seeking it can feel like a battlefield. It feels vulnerable and hard. Nevertheless, I feel most alive when I’m sitting at the table sorting out mine and you are spilling yours. We are battling not with each other, but for each other. It’s a sacred battle for truth. On second thought, maybe I do resemble Katniss after all.  I’m fighting for a victory that has already won, but the battle is for abundant life now. 

Thankfully I have a Helper who is proven on the battlefield. And I'm definitely getting better with a bow and arrow.

This is who He is. This is what He does. He is Truth. REAL.