The Hatchery

I’m realizing there are two types of people in this world: those who live for Disney theme park vacations and those who avoid them at all costs.

I am a part of that latter group, but I have to say that I caved to social pressure and made sure my kids had the privilege of experiencing “the Happiest Place on Earth”.  I’m quite certain I only did it to ensure my face stayed off of the “Worst Mom ever” list by depriving my kids this epic childhood dream of a visit to Disneyland.  

Though I’m not a fan of the parks, I’m a total lover of the Fast Pass. What a brilliant and inventive way of solving a problem and making the experience more enjoyable! Especially for us who are already not enjoying ourselves! Don’t want to wait in this line? No problem. Avoid the agonizing line, heat, weirdo people proximity, go enjoy yourself somewhere else, and then come back and still get to have the ride of your life? Yes, sign me up! 

I wish we could get a Fast Pass in life. 

I’d like to bypass this long, painful, sweaty wait so I can go sit in the shade somewhere with my feet up slurping down my eight dollar frozen lemonade.

But here is what I’m learning. Life is made up of a lot of long, exhausting lines that have me frequently looking for the exit. Escape the demanding people. The screaming kids. The house foreclosure. The diagnosis. 

I remember when my daughter was just a newborn and my son was two. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and emotional tapped out. Coupled with the physical exhaustion, there was the emotional weight of being a good enough mom to properly raise two humans. The pressure of the task at hand and what sprawled out before me seemed too much for me.  I keep hearing other women say that their favorite time of their whole lives was when their kids were little. And I kept thinking, “Oh I hope not, please tell me it gets better than this!”

I understand a little better what those ladies meant having those years behind me now, but at the time, it was all I could do to get through those days. In those moments, I often found myself looking around for an escape hatch. The Fast Pass. I wanted the end goal of being a great mom, but the process seemed to require so much of me that I felt crushed underneath the weight of it. I wanted the ride, but not the wait.

It was in this place I remember God whispering to my heavy heart, “Stop looking for the escape hatch. This is my hatchery for you.” 

In every hard place I find my self, when I am looking for a way out, a quick escape, I can still sense God saying these same words. This is where I’m growing you, changing you, answering your prayers to become that woman you are always striving to be. It’s here in this hot, sweaty line. Stop trying to get out of it. Let me have My way in you. Let me hatch some incredible things in you, but it has to be here, in this place of My choosing.

These are words I have chosen to live by. Words that have kept me seeking His face, staying at His feet, squeezing every ounce out of the hard places I find myself so that He can grow me into His likeness.  I now have the benefit of looking back and seeing how His hatchery really has worked. How He has grown me, developed my character. Broken and rebuilt this stubborn heart. 

It helps me say yes to Him in the hard places I encounter today, to realize that while a Fast Pass at Disneyland is a great idea, it really doesn’t pay off in life. Escape hatches may lead to a temporary freedom from the weight of life, but they always lead to regret. Unsung possibilities of refinement. Untapped strength. Undeveloped character. 

When I see the end of both roads, it’s no contest. I’m choosing the hatchery every time. 

I’m learning to love the wait.